happy for you

I'm sorry

just a little bit longer.

i still can't look at you at the eye, no, i can't

It's a very hard thing to do, trying to fool myself.

I thought i've made some progress. I thought that this was easy.

I thought i was able to forget you this soon, i felt so relieved.

Trying to keep myself busy with stuff.

There's a time when i rewarded myself for not thinking of you too much not realizing i did it while thinking of you.

There's still some part that hurting me. Seeing certain things that reminded me of you, got me so, so hurt.

And i'm sorry. 

i know you don't care and you're happy now. And i am trying to be happy. I am really.

But i'm sorry. It could not be this soon. But i'm trying, trying so hard to.

It's easier when i didn't have to see you. It's easier when i don't have to look at you wondering what are you thinking, who's on your mind, how much love have you given to her? 

It's easier when i didn't have to look at you and every part of you that you couldn't gave to me.

It's hurting so much, i'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am barely coping right now.

I couldn't be really happy for you right now, i'm sorry. 

But i'm trying, i meant my words you know, when i said i would be happy for you.

It's hard, but i'm trying. 

I'm sorry, don't worry, i'll be back to be me. i'll be back to be me soon.

but now, it still hurting so much,

just wait a little bit longer, i promise, i'm a girl of my word, you see.

I'll be happy for you, i promise.